Thursday, January 31, 2008

How to face your feelings?

As a recovering addict I still have a hard time facing my feelings. I usually have I hard time identifying the feelings I am experiencing which at times can be very confusing. This confusion usually leads to fear. Fear tends to make addicts want to run. As addicts we are good at running away from our feelings.

One of the biggest problems I have with my feelings, besides not knowing what I'm feeling, is feeling multiple feelings at one time. Normally when this happens my head is going a hundred miles a minute, my disease kicks into over drive, and I feel like the world is going to end. I usually feel crazy.

Over the years through my recovery I have learned some tools that I can use when I'm feeling crazy. The first thing I need to do is get in the moment. Where am I? I need to look at what is REALLY going on.

I have found that journaling is an amazing way to release these feelings and find out what is really going on up there. If I don't get the racing thoughts out of my head and onto the paper my head will continue to spin and my shitty committee will take over. I have found for me the best way to journal is to type so that I can get my thoughts out quicker.

By this time, if I haven't already, I take the time to say the Serenity Prayer. I reaffirm to myself that Gods is in control and His will for me is better then I could ever imagine. I know that I only have the power to change my actions and my actions can change the way I feel.

I usually call someone to verify that I'm not crazy and I'm not alone. They understand these feelings and thoughts and they share their experience with my.

This seems so simple but for an addict this clearly isn't the case. I do believe that we can't think ourselves into better living but we can live our way into better thinking. If we continuing to take positive action it will one day become a natural habit.

Just for Today I'm grateful that I have been given these simple tools to use instead of having to pick up.


Blogger Mee mOe said...

feeling numbness is what I've been desiring...not feeling anything, and then turn around and just want to feel real sharp pain, just to get rid of the pain I feel emotional...brilliant expression of feelings !!! I love you !!! J

February 1, 2008 at 12:45 PM  
Blogger Little Wing said...

I read your moms blog.
I am very proud of you for doing something so important for yourself as recovering.
Addiction is a horrible life.
Please be strong and continue to recover.
Hugs and bless you.

February 2, 2008 at 8:34 PM  
Blogger macmillan said...

Being patience is not an easy task. but you are doing so.I fell proud of you Thinking other than that,I mean diverting your concentration to some other intresting topic and company of others can keep you away from pain.

clinical depression

September 14, 2008 at 9:01 PM  

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