Saturday, January 19, 2008

Addiction and Depression

Another thing I struggle with is depression. Take today, I tried to get up and take care of lives responsibilities but instead I decided to go back to bed. Depression is a lot different then being sad. I would rather be sad. Depression makes me not want to go on. I makes me feel like life isn't worth living. I want to hide. I want to run. I don't want to face another day.
More about Depression

I can come up no other explanation other then I have a chemical imbalance. Last night I felt fine. In fact I felt great. I did all the things that make me happy. This morning I was overly loving but over all I felt good. There was beautiful snow falling outside. I had my morning coffee and cigarette. I started to clean the house and then.... crash. I don't feel like doing anything.

Many recovering addicts believe that all addicts need to be free from all mood and mind altering chemicals. As they say this drinking a cup of Starbucks and smoking their cigarette at 10 pm. Everyone is different. Everyone has and is entitled to their own opinions.

I have decided that the best thing for me is to be on antidepressants. I've tried so hard to pull myself out of this depression. I've prayed, meditated, read books, thought positive, reached out to others, made myself walk through it anyways, and eventually I got tired of trying. It is not something I talk about in meetings but I did talk to my sponsor and friends before I made the decision.

I know that todays depression won't last forever. I just have a hard time on the weekends when I'm not busy. I need structure. I need to stay busy with work and meetings.

For any addict that is struggling with depression I hope you know that you have a choice. There are many antidepressants out there that are nonaddictive and do not give you a hush or high. No one should be able to tell you what is right or wrong for you. Look to your higher power and remember, you are not alone.


Blogger Mee mOe said...

sometimes I become foggy and my vision seems to disappear I am trying to stay in touch with that higher power, that inner peace. Your writings are great, mean fabulous darling...MUaHH !!!

January 22, 2008 at 2:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is an important topic. Good post, and good luck with your recovery, both from addiction and depression.

February 25, 2008 at 11:31 AM  

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